ROCK [in my stomach]

Everything I do matters
I am the keystone linchpin swordarm big fish [screaming]
It doesn't matter [until it is everything]
I didn't mean to lash out. I just need sleep haven't eaten enough today accidentally stepped on a lizard and killed it [am the unfinished husk of a person who failed to develop right]
But I can pretend [for now]
It bothers me when they mourn the little things.
It just isn't something I relate to seems performative makes everything seem worse than it is [makes me jealous]
It isn't anything. It's fine. I'm strong
and I can be what others need me to be [step back so they can have friendships that matter]
We need realists, right?
People who can look at nature [politics] and accept that I need to read more of it I need to talk to more people constantly about politics If I don't talk to everyone about Trump and democrats and choosing the lesser of two evils and the crushing weight of fascism I've failed as a U. S. citizen [we are all fucking screwed and there's nothing I can do about it]
Nothing I do matters [until everything matters]